liars go to hell!!!
Name: Leizelna A.
i love hanging out with friends and reading the newspaper..hahahaha! i cant think of anything sensible to say..im basically a simple girl.
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I still cant believe that i am now in this new stage in my life..feels very surreal...it needs a lil bit of getting used to..but more that anything it is both a challenge and a privilege that i am not about to turn my back on. Oh yes..i had my share of childishness..my stubborness which most of the time i consider pure determination had got me in trouble more often than it ought to.. But that was yesterday..
I feel blessed that I have been given an opportunity to have a baby growing in my tummy..a few months ago..his movements just felt like tiny bubbles in me..but now..his vigorous movements had awoken me in my deep slumber many times.. but these are the happiest moments of my life..he is not only a part of my life..but my life itself.. my baby..my joy..my everything..
In the coming days i would be posting a review of the movies and books that i have seen and read..not to the delight of my non-existent blog-viewers..but more for my own personal interest of exercising my already "in-the-mud" intellect.. there would be some changes here...i'll also start to write about the more relevant issues, like the socio-political situation in the philippines and abroad..that's because of my commitment to serve the people..bow!
i already asked my boss for a leave..i need a breather..im going somewhere to settle an unfinished business and yeah..yeah..to get some air..it feels like hell around here..i dont wanna squander my precious life in a wasteland..maybe i should re-assess my life...being ruled by emotions will get me nowhere..im tired of standing on my head..it's time to be the rational leizelna again..
it's amazing how things have actually changed since my last entry...and i do mean change..quite frankly im still on the verge of falling under the pit of insanity..maybe im crazy..but it's only to match the equally crazy world im in..it's been a long time since i tried to philosophize the very essence of my existence..im not about to do that now...there are calls to make..sales to close..targets to meet..and a whole lotta shit to face..im not about to lose this game..i will win even if it's the last thing i do..
it's my second day at work..im just so happy to be here..i love akayin. i feel so appreciated. i mean...duh! i feel so lucky to be part of the pioneering batch. i cant be happier. aside from my boss being so cute and intelligent..work at akayin is more fun than work. we get to say what we want. the CEO himself wants to hear our opinions on things. plus, he always says that our growth and success is his primary concern. whoaa!!! i cant believe it myself. but darn! it's true.
i left blueblade interactive for something way way much better..i have no regrets so far..and i dont intend to have any in the future.
i got a call from my dad..
he wants me to go home so i can go to lawschool.. naahhh!!! i wouldnt leave akayin for the world..i still wanna be a lawyer..but i love my work. i could only care less about anything else..haha!!
in a call center, what counts most is not talent nor intellect. it's tolerance. the competition is very tough. the environment teaches you to be vicious and ruthless. not to care about anybody else but your own survival. i dont believe nor do i get impressed by people who think they made it because they are good, and look down on people who quit thinking they are nothing but losers who cant stand the pressure. i have not quit yet. but i have friends who have. up until this moment i am still contemplating whether i really want to stay in this industry. people and even myself thought that a call center job is a no-brainer, but i was wrong. i was dead wrong. working for sprint has been more than a challenge for me..it has become an ordeal. challenge is something you can take when you think you have a good chance of overcoming an obstacle. while an ordeal is something you have to take even if you know that the only way of overcoming it is thru divine providence.
this is what we do as a sprint customer service. we serve the customer, we serve the company..and in both we lose. because neither the customer nor sprint value the dedication we give. they think that we are nothing but robots who are made to do as they wished..i cant promise that i'll be staying with sprint for long..one thing i can promise though is when the time comes that i have to cross the rubicon i will walk out without looking back..
the five of us, madel, kakai, mimi, odie and myself are inseprable. we do things together..we live and breathe together. literally. just when i thought things will be ok..well..someone's intellectual arrogance is again in play. i just dont wanna ruin anything. i mean i have my own share of problems worse than what they have. i just wanna be happy and enjoy life..i dont wanna worry on what the future holds. i wanna make friends and be happy.
im having a really hard time..im close to committing suicide right here..im really emotionally and mentally drained. can somebody rescue me pls?
i've been having a hard time coping with stress. the fact that im the only one left among my group of friends working in a call center we thought was heaven but truned out to be hell in its truest meaning has given me so much of anxiety that i feel like im holding on a very thin thread for dear life. i have no family here, they are the only ones i got. and now they are actually seriously considering going back home. i am at loss.
well for one, everytime i am off shift i actually go with them as they apply for other call centers to give them moral support. these people are really good. they were just disillusioned that's why they are out of the job. and now that they are looking for one, it seems like interviewers have a negative opinion of them or all of us from CVG for that matter. i have no intention of applying anytime soon i just wanna do my job. then contemplate on what im gonna do with my life after 4 months. i wanna go bck to school or go home. i love the freedom here..but i miss my family. i wanna be able to just keep myself tuck in bed without having to worry about bills or work or home. i just wanna feel safe and secured..i dont wanna stay in a restless city for long. the mere fact that im staying here makes me feel like my life is starting to go to waste. i mean i should be spending my short life with the people that i love but guess what? here i am in cebu city, an urban jungle where i work my ass off.
it is really frustrating. it's not just about the job..it's the thought that im away from my family that's killing me.
i have a friend here who i think is having an emotional breakdown, she had two anxiety attacks in one week. we had to go to the ER and see her there. it's really sad that people experience the extreme because of homesickness. i completely understand her, and i even consider myself close to being insane already. evrthng that's keeping me sane is not here..jun, aye, evan, comrades, family. i feel like im caught up in my own web with nobody to help me. im just waiting for the day my breathing stops..
im being overly dramatic the past days...well..aside from the fact that i do miss home, the poltergeist is adding up to my anxiety..and it's really killing me. i cant sleep at night because of objects moving here and there..and my sked isreally bad..i have to wake up really early cus my work starts at 5am and ends at 2pm. i mean i've never been a morning person in my entire life..and suddenly i am made to wake up really early..i have to go out and wait for a taxi while evryone else is in bed getting the rest that every breathing being deserves. i mean c'mon!
i do my best though, i still wake up, go to work, take calls. curse back at the customers while the fone is on mute so i wont get fired of course. hehehe. i mean life is really cruel.
my friends are already scheduled for an interview in a different call center. well..gud for them. as for me. i wasnt terminated so i have to wait basically until they grow sick of me and kick me out of the company. so for the meantime the challenge for me is to keep myself awake at work, and hold my temper. poor me..hehehe
as for my friends..i hope they get a good job. i hope they find their true happiness..
im just gonna eat my heart out while they have fun..
today
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